Another Televisual Masterpiece

Just what we don’t need – a Calum Best reality show. Hooray!

It’s the latest in the long line of MTV “Totally” shows. The first ruined Lisa Scott Lee’s career, the second made a laughing stock out of Danny from New Kids on the Block (not a difficult task we know) and the last one took Jodie Marsh from “d-list” to “completely unemployable.” Unlike that lot though – yes, even Jodie Marsh – we guess Calum Best (pictured in a threesome with Lindsay Lohan and her sinister mother) hasn’t got anything to lose. All he’s done is shag, booze, do bits of weak modelling work and do stints on reality TV. So more of the same then.

The premise of this is “can Calum avoid shagging a slapper for 50 days.” Of course he can’t. Suspense over. Oh! And because he’s supposed to be celibate for two months the show is tagged “Totally Calum Best: The Best Is Yet To Come.” Effing hell. They’re comedy geniuses at MTV “innit”.

The Glamorous Face of Mouth Wash!

Poor old Liz McClarnon. She was the nicest one in Atomic Kitten but that didn’t persuade anyone buy her solo records. In a bid to revive her career she’s booked herself onto Celebrity Masterchef and is the new face of Listerine. Oh dear…

This poignant bid for attention came with a promotional Q&A style interview, just in case any publication in Britain had taken leave of their senses and fancied running some desperately shite advertorial. Here’s an excerpt!

Q:What beauty essentials do you always have in your bathroom cabinet? A: There are a couple of products that I’d be lost without; a really good skin cream, as I have very sensitive skin so want to protect it, also I always keep a bottle of Listerine Stay White mouthwash handy to keep my smile bright.

What are the odds of that?!?! She’s promoting Listerine and – by amazing coincidence – was asked what was in her bathroom cabinet and, by Jiminy, it’s a bottle of Listerine!! Amazing!!!

Effing hell. Really.

Still, things are at least looking up for perky Liz – she’s got the Atomic Kitten gig at the Kings Lynn Festival on July 12^th to look forward to. Hahaha.

Bring Out Your Dead

What are you up to right now? We very much doubt you’re watching Lisa Scott Lee presenting Skinny Celebrity Mums on Living TV. But it's happening even as we speak!!

To celebrate perky washed-up popstrel Lisa Scott Lee made herself available for interviews. The press release invites us to ask her anything! “How she lost her baby weight, the pressures involved with losing baby weight, how she juggles her baby” – now you’re talking! – “[paragraph break] Jaden with her career”. Boo! Hold on! “Career?!?!” What “career” would this be? The one she nailed into its coffin four years ago on Totally Scott Lee?!

Three cheers for Living TV though. What would these washed up has-beens do without it? Living is responsible for keeping a roof over brother Andy Scott-Lee’s head thanks to his boring (now defunct) marriage to his washed-up popstar wife Michelle Liberty-X and their Newlyweds show. Hold on! That was ITV2!

God bless you Lisa, baby weight’s the least of your troubles. Let’s hope you haven’t spent all your Steps cash on lip gloss and hair extensions.