Don’t Cha Wanna Ride (On My Flake)

Poor Joss Stone. Things were going so well until her last album flopped and she decided to talk in a rubbish American accent at last years Brits. Where is she now? Fiddling with her Flake, that’s where.

It’s not as desperate as it may seem though, it’s actually the height of excitement as this press release attests:

“Soul singer Joss Stone’s interpretation of the famous jingle has been eagerly anticipated and tomorrow night the advert will finally be released on ITV1 during the premiere of 'Rock Rivals', following much speculation about how Joss will eat her Flake.”

I’m sure we’re all giddy with delight already. Who amongst us can wait until the Rock Rivals ad break?

Joss has a reputation for shagging songwriters to secure the blandest and most boring of their generic r’n’b musical emissions. So we’re guessing she’ll consume the Flake tomorrow by ramming it up her fanny and yodelling “tastes like chocolate never tasted before.”