Toxic! (Broadsheet Hypocrisy!)

When exactly did the Guardian turn into Now magazine? It’s G2 section has been showbiz crazy for ages but devoting a front page to Britney – hooked on nothing as she hasn’t done much for a fortnight – and then 'treating' us to this tedious 6 page article (seemingly adapted from a Women's Studies dissertation) takes the biscuit.

As it’s the Guardian we get all the usual guff that Britney is being unfairly ridiculed because she’s a – yawn – woman and – zzzzz – a mother. We also get various inaccuracies, picked up from lazy cuttings trawls or wiki research, that make this an irritating read for anyone who’s actually followed Britney’s shenanigans over the years (for professional reasons!). It’s just a way of legitimising people who think they’re above wallowing in showbiz gossip to do just that.

Not only that but it’s absurdly pretentious:

"Her hair now queenly dark, her belly perfectly rounded and airbrushed free of veins and stretchmarks, she is the very apogee of poised, yet still emphatically sexy, motherhood. Her face doll-like, she lies bared against what looks like a soft, furry-white, nursery blanket in the pose of a soft-porn, but pregnant, Venus."

I shudder to think how much the hack in question got for churning out that load of old bollocks…